Exhausted I decide to press on to the farm gate 100 yards ahead and I’ll dismount and live with the defeat of not finishing the trip. Just as my front wheel reaches the determined give-in point, that gate, an inner voice says go on, just a bit more! So I pick the next small achievable point ahead and continue.
Two friends and I were attempting one of those must do things. Like must read War & Peace, must learn to play the guitar, must lose weight – this was must cycle from one side of England to the other, commonly known as the Coast to Coast or C2C. 139 miles over the lumpy bit of the country. We call this ride a tyre in two seas because you dip your rear wheel in at the start of the ride and front wheel in the sea at the end. In this case the Irish and North seas.
My thoughts on surviving life include being in control, avoiding surprises, planning out pitfalls. That said, like so many others I can overthink a thing so much that I feel like I have done the journey before I actually set off! Some of us pad the dream out too much too early, a bit like wanting to play the guitar but not do the 100 lessons or lose weight but not be hungry.
Following a one long day cycling with my good friend Ged, it came to me that an adventure was in order. Lands End to John O’Groats, a great British 900 mile cycling adventure. My sensible wife Cheryl suggested a pre-adventure adventure to build up to the big adventure. She spotted that my 80 miles with Ged followed by a week’s rest was not sufficient training. Unaware of the concept, my wife was really encouraging me to build muscle memory. This is when your body will turn the pedals without you thinking about it, like pressing a clutch and changing gear in a car, it’s an automatic response. Hence, the C2C over three days with Ged and my grandson’s father Tafardswa. Heavy panniers and high hills were good preparation. It was on this trip that I learned not to think about Newcastle-Upon-Tyne 139 miles away whilst my rear tyre was still wet with seawater from Whitehaven harbour. Just to the next farm gate or lamppost would be enough for the moment.
Not many of us go from a gentle bike ride down the shops to 30, 40 or 100 miles a day. It takes time and patience. For some of us getting up in the morning is hard, dressing and descending the stairs can be a major task. One friend spent nine months in hospital being told he will never walk again as the world carried on without him. He learned to take each day as it arrived – building on one step at a time. Eventually he did make a recovery and we observed him walking, first with a frame then sticks until ten years after his accident he walked unaided.
You know this is just the same in the spiritual realms. I look at some spiritually minded, seemingly at-one-with-the-universe character, and wonder will I ever truly grow in that area. We sit with closed eyes and mind racing trying to meditate or pray and where we hope to be seems too far away. Our attempts at silent contemplation feel as though we are at a disco in Lands End and want to be at a monastery in John O’ Groats. Recently a friend shared that after 30 years of meditation he was having a few off days – sort of it’s not working for some reason at present. Well that’s ok because our journey is long and the pathway occasionally steep.
We might feel frustrated that change is not coming so we stop praying or do things to bring change. We read books on how to pray better or light a candle and kneel thinking a hard floor and new position will help. It doesn’t. Is it possible that our expectations are in the way? After putting my bike on the train at Wick in Scotland, heading home, having completed the 900 miles cycle ride I didn’t cycle again for a few weeks. My high food intake continued. When I eventually went out on the bike again not only had my legs experienced memory loss they had a bigger me to propel. Within weeks I returned to the long rides and slowly moved the notches on my belt back to their original place!
Finding a deeper place in the presence of God does require in some way a long journey. A journey that will have good periods and not so good periods. One step at a time and if you have a break get back on the bike and start to turn those spiritual pedals – fasting and meditation will help rebuild your spiritual muscles. When I enter a dry period in my prayer life I repeat over and over again the Our Father… Jesus taught this pattern for a reason.
Rob Wykes 