I’ve known a number of people in my life who being very ill decided not to walk the path of invasive treatment. One man in particular said in an uncomplicated way to let the cancer take its course and help me with my pain at home. It was my privilege to hold his hand in the days leading to his death. In his eyes I saw dignity and resolve. Once in his bedroom as we chatted he said he had done all he wanted. Imagine having that sense of peace or completeness, nothing in particular on the must do list.
There were days when his pain outmatched the drugs designed to make him comfortable. Those were the days we had rather he were in hospital getting a faster pain relief response but he even bore this well. It became my privilege to conduct his funeral service which was well attended and as he would have wanted had equal measure of joy and sadness both brought tears. His name was Raymond and I had worked with Ray most days for the best part of 18 years. This meant I had plenty of stories as did others to tell.
Over the years I have met with many others who have chosen to take every available offer of treatment. For some this has clearly extended their life in years for others the outcome was less effective. Once I took the service of a remarkable woman whose life ended in her 93rd year. At the age of 50 she had been told her life expectancy was less than 5 years. I remember her family said she decided not to start the countdown clock, taking each day as it arrived.
Life as we know it is precious, love and companionship are deep seated realities hard to imagine losing. Each of us will need to let go one day and I wonder if the more we are convinced of the life to come the more we can embrace the days we have. Some of us hold on more tightly to this world because we have yet to be convinced of the next. I get that it is more complex than that but I suspect there is a balance to be found which brings freedom.
In recent weeks I have enjoyed studying some of the writings left to us by St Francis of Assisi, St Ignatius and others of similar thought. They all have spiritual exercises to help us connect with God. Often they are simply asking us to become intimate or personal with what we read. In reading the end of the gospels I was reminded of the scene where Jesus’ followers let Him go three times! On the cross, the tomb, and the sky
Walking in the disciples’ footsteps as Jesus is killed, raised and ascended helped me to understand more of what Paul may have felt when he said ‘… to live is Christ and to die is gain’. Obviously he wasn’t being sensitive to those who loved him and would be left behind! Imagine standing with Peter or James as Jesus is taken into the air and you connect immediately with the words of Martin Luther the 14th century theologian who said “…live as if Jesus was crucified yesterday, rose from the dead today, and is returning tomorrow.”
Church history is littered with such sentiment encouraging us to become so connected or convinced of the life to come that to live is Christ and to die is gain. We should marvel at the amazing advancements made in prolonging life and challenging terrible illness and disease. We pray daily for an intervention, for the remedy of Covid19, that it will one day soon appear on the list of readily accessible prescribed drugs.
I love the story of Lazarus not because he was dead and Jesus raised him. I love that God in Jesus gave Lazarus’ family some extra time together. So we live taking comfort in the knowledge that we will join Lazarus who being brought back from the dead still found his true resting place not in this world but in the one to come.
Rob Wykes 